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Richard Gere
The Myth
Featured in such films as Pretty Woman and Runaway Bride, Dick Gere was a prominent pop culture figure for many singles who lived in the 1980's and married couples of the 1990's and early 2000's who looked to relive their youth. His salt and pepper good looks make him a sex symbol for 40+ men. His career however is debated to still exist or not. Some say it does, some say who cares. There is a great deal of evidence to suggest that Richard Gere, in fact, doesn't exist at all. Some believe he is a wax statue, others an opium induced vision brought to life through the magic spells and can-do attitude of a thousand angry sea monks. When asked for comment, the sea monks offered no statement. We continued our investigation at the nearby Madame Tussauds, she would not explicitly confirm or deny our claim, but instead handed us a small note of paper. Clearly written in code, the Madame Tussauds' note would never of been solved by us if it weren't for Nicholas Cage. His career preformace in National Treasure 2 paved the way for future crytologists and allowed us to get all the pieces of the puzzle. Thank you Nick, Thank You Richard. We finally found you. You were with Andy and Red on the coast of Baja california. Great Movie.Early Life
Those who believe Richard Gere exist say he was born next to a lake in Northern Minnesota, the son of a car exhaust pipe and an oak tree. His childhood was wrought with tragedy. At age six, Gere was already three times the age of his parents. He put all of his belongings into a redhandkerchiefon a stick and hit the road. When the roadretaliated, the young Gere called upon the Three Great Kings of the Forrest to aid him. Joined by the Bear, The Wolf, and Rene Zellweger, Gere was on his way. The Four would later start a family band. Their first record took twenty minutes to record. The second took even longer. Gere attended The College of Handsome Men who Wish To Act, where hereceivedhis magic powers and developed an addiction to lycan blood.
Mid-Life (Crisis?)
By the age of 19, Gere had graduated, at the top of his class I might add, from university and was hoping to act. Still, the 1930's were a rough time for anyone to begin an acting career. Heavyweights such as Shirly Temple and Lucile Ball made it difficult for any newcomer to get a nice gig, let alone get laid. Gere was no dettered. In a Steve Martin-type move he met the devil at a crossroads in Georgia. Some might say the devil exists, surf the site to find out. At the crossroads, Gere, his wife Rene Zelleweger, the bear, and the wolf each gave up one article of their life. Gere of course gave up his credibility, the wolf gave up his wings, which all wolfs had at the time, the bear gave up his glasses, he loved to read, and Rene gave up having a tolerable voice. The devil was happy with his new prizes and awarded Richard with the gift of foresight, and an appeal to an unfortunate mass of the American population.
The Accident and Gere's Left Eye
After several years in exile after having his heart broken by The Bear, Gere briefly returned to the spotlight after The Accident. No one likes to talk much about The Accident, but ever since it happened, Gere's left eye can see three seconds into the future. Though his magical ability could help him fight crime or be some other altruistic figure, it mostly just helps him impress friends at red lights by pointing to them at the exact time they turn green. Friends of Gere have reported that the trick, while impressive, "gets old." It was Gere's future foresight that would help him land the role of smooth talking lawyer Billy Flynn in the movie musical "Chicago," a movie made most famous by its sequins. Nevertheless, this movie brought about Gere's first Oscar win. After a night of heavy drinking after losing the Academy Award, he went home with the bartender, Oscar, where they drowned their sorrows in each others bodies.
The MothmanProphecies
After the abysmal failure of Chicago (mostly attributed to Gere's insane on-set demands, mostly involving fruit and catcher's mits), Gere decided to move into documentary territory. He documented his experiences as a down-on-his-luck journalist in West Virginia tracking a strange man who likes to make telephone calls in his seminal work The Mothman Prophecies. The man on the phone, who's abilities include being able to guess what's in your hand and speaking loudly, yet softly, refused to be filmed. This, along with an eye infection that caused Gere's future sight to be horribly weakened, made filming quite difficult. It has been reported that Gere had several on-set breakdowns, at times becoming so agitated with the English language that he would resort to speaking through tounge-clicks and shadow puppets. Nevertheless, the film proved successful, it's effects still being seen on threads on this website to this day.
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Latest page update: made by Dous777
, Apr 30 2011, 12:09 PM EDT
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Anonymous | witches.... | 0 | Jul 7 2012, 1:21 PM EDT by Anonymous | ||
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Thread started: Jul 7 2012, 1:21 PM EDT
Watch
I'm looking for skilled witches not for wrong but for information. on tangible. entities. and I don't just mean witch's hunter s too please answer.
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Anonymous | Gere | 0 | Apr 15 2011, 11:38 AM EDT by Anonymous | ||
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