Mythical Creatures Guide

Leprechaun Jokes

Some of the funnier gags about the short people from across the pond. Feel free to add more!

Joke #1 What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish? Paddy O'furniture
Joke #2 What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? A jolly green giant.
Joke #3 Why do leprechans laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their nuts!
Joke #4 One day this man is sitting in a bar, drinking, when this little leprechaun leaps up on the bar stool next to him, spits in the man’s face and runs away. The man wiped his face, disgusted, and was thinking how nasty that leprechaun was. The next day, the same man is in the same bar drinking when here comes the little leprechaun. It jumps up on the bar stool next to him spits in the guys face and runs away. The man is really angry now. He wiped his face and thought to himself,”If that leprechaun does that again, I’m going to cut his penis off.” The next day, the man sat at the bar waiting for the leprechaun. He ordered drink after drink when finally, the little leprechaun came and jumped up on the bar stool next to the man. He grabbed the leprechaun, took out his knife, pulled down his pants but there was nothing there! So he asks the leprechaun, "How do you piss?” The leprechaun only smiled and spit in his face, running away.
Joke #5 A guy has a few drinks at a bar, then heads to the rest room. While he’s doing his business, a very short man takes the urinal next to him. “I’m sorry for staring,” says the guy, “but you’re huge.” “That’s because I’m a leprechaun,” says the short man. “All leprechauns are well-endowed.” “I’d do anything to have a penis that size,” sighs the guy. “It just so happens that I can grant wishes,” says the leprechaun. “If you let me have sex with you in the bathroom stall, I’ll give you a bigger penis.” The man thinks it over and decides he wants a giant schlong. As they’re going at it, the man cries out, “I can’t believe I’m letting a leprechaun screw me!” “I can’t believe that you believe I’m a leprechaun!”
Joke #6 A little boy was in the school bathroom. He found there was no toilet paper, so he used his hand. He went back into the classroom, & his teacher asked what he had in his hand. "A little leprechaun. If I open my hand, he'll get scared away!" The teacher couldn't get him to open his hand, so she sent him to the principle, who also asked what he had in his hand. "A little leprechaun. If I open my hand, he'll get scared away!" He was sent home. His mom asked him what he had in his hand. "A little leprechaun. If I open my hand, he'll get scared away!" His dad ordered him to open his hand, and as he forced it open, the boy said, "Oh no Dad, look! You scared the crap outta him!"

Joke #1

What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?

Paddy O'furniture

Joke #2

What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?

A jolly green giant.

Joke #3

Why do leprechans laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their nuts!

Joke #4

One day this man is sitting in a bar, drinking, when this little leprechaun leaps up on the bar stool next to him, spits in the man’s face and runs away. The man wiped his face, disgusted, and was thinking how nasty that leprechaun was. The next day, the same man is in the same bar drinking when here comes the little leprechaun. It jumps up on the bar stool next to him spits in the guys face and runs away. The man is really angry now. He wiped his face and thought to himself,”If that leprechaun does that again, I’m going to cut his penis off.” The next day, the man sat at the bar waiting for the leprechaun. He ordered drink after drink when finally, the little leprechaun came and jumped up on the bar stool next to the man. He grabbed the leprechaun, took out his knife, pulled down his pants but there was nothing there! So he asks the leprechaun, "How do you piss?” The leprechaun only smiled and spit in his face, running away.

Joke #5

A guy has a few drinks at a bar, then heads to the rest room. While he’s doing his business, a very short man takes the urinal next to him. “I’m sorry for staring,” says the guy, “but you’re huge.” “That’s because I’m a leprechaun,” says the short man. “All leprechauns are well-endowed.” “I’d do anything to have a penis that size,” sighs the guy. “It just so happens that I can grant wishes,” says the leprechaun. “If you let me have sex with you in the bathroom stall, I’ll give you a bigger penis.” The man thinks it over and decides he wants a giant schlong. As they’re going at it, the man cries out, “I can’t believe I’m letting a leprechaun screw me!” “I can’t believe that you believe I’m a leprechaun!”

Joke #6

A little boy was in the school bathroom. He found there was no toilet paper, so he used his hand. He went back into the classroom, & his teacher asked what he had in his hand.
"A little leprechaun. If I open my hand, he'll get scared away!"
The teacher couldn't get him to open his hand, so she sent him to the principle, who also asked what he had in his hand.
"A little leprechaun. If I open my hand, he'll get scared away!"
He was sent home. His mom asked him what he had in his hand.
"A little leprechaun. If I open my hand, he'll get scared away!"
His dad ordered him to open his hand, and as he forced it open, the boy said, "Oh no Dad, look! You scared the crap outta him!"

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